by Shaykh ‘Abdullah ibn Sālih al-Fawzān
‘Ā’ishah we narrated that “Allāh’s Messenger ﷺ used to kiss (his wives) while he was fasting and embrace (his wives) while he was fasting, but he had more control over his desires than all of you.” Reported by al-Bukhārī and Muslim.
In another narration belonging to Muslim, “He used to kiss (his wives) in the month of fasting.”
Commentary
The hadith is evidence that it is permissible for the fasting person to kiss his wife and embrace her – there is no difference regarding that between an obligatory fast or a voluntary one – as long as he does not fear awakening his desires and the discharge of sperm prematurely; and as long as he does not fear that it will lead to sexual intercourse. In these cases, it is obligatory for him to leave off kissing and embracing in order to block the means because preserving the fast from corruption is obligatory. And whatever is necessary to complete the obligatory is itself obligatory. This is because the Prophet ﷺ ordered the one making wudū to exaggerate in taking water in the nose except if he was fasting, so that water does not leak into the stomach. Similarly, he is prohibited from
kissing if that is a pathway to sexual intercourse which will invalidate the fast.
Her statement, “but he had more control over his (arab) desires than all of you,” indicated this. “Arab” with an ‘a’ on the ‘hamzah’ and after the ‘r’ is a person’s wish and desires. “Irb’ with an i’ on the ‘hamzah’ and
no vowel after the ‘r’ is the sexual organ, and it can also be used to mean the desire. The meaning is: it is necessary to be cautious with kissing and not imagine that you are like Allāh’s Messenger ﷺ in his ability to control that, because he controls himself and he is sure that nothing will
result from that. In that is an indication that whoever does not control his ‘arab’, it will harm him. [2]
The meaning of embracing is: the touching of the two skins, for it is more general than kissing; and it is also used to mean sexual intercourse, but that is not the intent here. The mentioning of embracing after kissing is an example of mentioning the general after the specific; because kissing is more specific than embracing.
Therefore, if the fasting person kissed or embraced (his wife) and semen came out from him, he corrupted his fast and he must make it up according to the statement of the majority, but he does not have to make an expiation. This is because the expiation is particular to sexual intercourse. But he has to repent, regret, ask forgiveness and stay away from these things that agitate desires, for he is in the middle of a great act of worship. Allāh, the Most High, said regarding it:
“He leaves food for My sake, he leaves drink for My sake, he leaves his pleasure for My sake, and he leaves his wife for My sake.” [3]
Hence, the fasting person is demanded to leave off all his lusts and desires, and the
discharge of sperm enters into the generalness of that.
If urethal fluid secretes from him due to embracing or kissing, that does not corrupt the fast according to the more correct of the two statements of the scholars, because it is a discharge which does not necessitate a full bath, so it resembles urine.
And it is befitting for the fasting person to avoid everything that falls into what he should guard against and violates the fast or reduces its
rewards. Indeed, this is part of revering the commands of Allāh, the Most High, and His prohibitions. Allah, the Most High, said:
which means, “That, and whoever honors the sacred things of Allāh, then that is better for him with his Lord.” [4] And Allāh knows best.
O Allah! Cause us to die as believers and join us with the righteous. O Allah! Grant us success that protects us from disobeying You; guide us to strive in what pleases You; and give us good in this life, good in the Hereafter and protect us from the punishment of the Fire. Aameen!
————————————
[1] Reported by al-Bukhārī , no. 1927 and Muslim, no. 1106.
[2] See: Al-Mu’lim bi-Fawā’id Muslim by al-Mazirī, 2/33-34.
[3] Sahīh Ibn Khuzaymah, 3/197.
[4] Sūrah al-Hajj: 30.
